| My high school graduation day started like most | | | | to upchuck all over the girl sitting next to you. Keep |
| others. I woke up ridiculously early due to nerves. I | | | | in mind your parents are somewhere in the sea of |
| showered, got dressed in an outfit I'd picked out | | | | proud faces that smile down at your graduating class, |
| weeks before, obsessed over my hair and how it | | | | snapping pictures and recording videos that will |
| would look under my graduation cap for half an hour, | | | | capture this hellish day and serve to remind you of |
| and did my best to make my tent of a graduation | | | | its torment forevermore. |
| gown look somewhat flattering. I posed for pictures | | | | I waited through the 800- some-odd graduating |
| in my parents' living room, called my best friend to | | | | names that were called, managed to walk across the |
| coordinate our arrival to the high school, and made | | | | stage and grab my fake diploma without tripping (our |
| sure my camera was in my purse. | | | | real diplomas would be mailed to us at a later date), |
| And then I threw up. | | | | and sat through meaningless speeches, counting all |
| To suffer from food poisoning on your last day of | | | | the while: one thousand, eight hundred and |
| high school is just a cruel joke. My dad had taken us | | | | seventy-two... |
| out for a celebratory dinner the night before to a | | | | After everyone had tossed their caps in the air (I |
| restaurant that shall remain nameless, and something | | | | kept mine just in case I needed to use it as a bucket |
| I had eaten was at war with my stomach...and it was | | | | in the near future), hoards of overenthusiastic |
| winning. | | | | parents began to stream onto the gymnasium floor. |
| As we walked down the street to my high school (in | | | | Hugging families blocked every exit, trapping us inside. |
| the rain, I might add...why didn't my parents | | | | The next twenty minutes were a feverish blur. I'm |
| sympathize with my condition and at least offer to | | | | fairly sure I pushed someone's grandpa out of the |
| drop me off?), I began to count the seconds until I | | | | way at some point, but I didn't look back to check. |
| pass out unconscious in my bed. Eight thousand, nine | | | | Somehow I found my parents and dragged them |
| hundred and ninety-nine... | | | | outside, into the now-refreshing rain and down the |
| Imagine a bunch of sweaty high school students | | | | street towards our house. |
| wearing itchy robes and hats packed like sardines in a | | | | Two...one...and I fell into bed, my graduation cap and |
| gymnasium for two hours. Throw in a 102-degree | | | | gown crumpled in a pile on the floor. |
| fever and the ever-present feeling that you're going | | | | |