| How do you really feel about your Mom? Are you | | | | children and want the best for them. I believe this |
| experiencing a deep love and compassion for her? Or | | | | because often after a client succeeded in healing their |
| do you just feel loyalty and obligation? Are you one | | | | own inner child they were able to see clearly what |
| of those people who always want to please your | | | | they had done with their offspring. They sobbed |
| Mom? Or are you filled with so much anger and | | | | deeply as they visualized their son or daughter, and |
| resentment that you avoid them, or rebel by doing | | | | said, "Please forgive me. I just did to you what was |
| the opposite of what they taught you? | | | | done to me. I'm so sorry. I love you. I never meant |
| During many years as a practicing psychotherapist, I | | | | to hurt you. If I'd known better I would have |
| have discovered that most people have to resolve | | | | treated you differently." |
| issues with their parents in order to love them | | | | When the clients realized that they were not able to |
| unconditionally, and truly enjoy giving to them on | | | | properly nurture their offspring because they |
| Mother's Day as well as the rest of the year. | | | | themselves did not experience love as a child, they |
| It was wonderful to see the clients soften and smile, | | | | were able to forgive themselves. Even though the |
| as they resolved their unfinished business with their | | | | client was sad and wished it could have been |
| parents. For the first time they were able to accept | | | | different, they accepted that they could not give |
| that their parents did the best they could with the | | | | any one an apple if they had never received one. |
| information and tools that they had, and forgive | | | | Very often, the client was saddened and frustrated |
| them. The clients also realized that if they wanted to | | | | because even though they wanted to heal their |
| blame, they would have to go way back through the | | | | relationship with their children, they were |
| many generations because they basically learned how | | | | unsuccessful. Their son or daughter was still harboring |
| to parent by what their folks did with them. | | | | anger and hurts and resisted taking their parent's |
| Unfortunately, we have been passing down these | | | | outreached hand. |
| dysfunctional, unloving methods of child rearing | | | | Some clients felt terrible because they had never |
| throughout our history. | | | | healed their relationship with their mother or father |
| The irony of it is that being a parent is much more | | | | when they were living. It was wonderful to watch |
| difficult than being a psychotherapist. I, like most | | | | them let go of their guilt as I assisted them in their |
| people, had no training in parenting. However, to | | | | healing and forgiving process with their deceased |
| become a counselor I had to study for a degree, | | | | parents. |
| intern for years and pass a test in order to receive a | | | | It is never too late, and never too soon to |
| license. In my opinion, it would be very helpful to | | | | constructively release the negative feelings you have |
| have required "Parenting Classes" in high school and | | | | towards your mom. Then you may be able to give |
| college. Then more people can learn the necessary | | | | your mom the best and most valuable gift for |
| tools they need to help their children be healthy, | | | | Mother's Day, and throughout the year--forgiveness, |
| happy and successful in the world. | | | | love, and compassion. |
| I am convinced that parents basically love their | | | | |