| Delivery by pick-up truck: July 4 | | | | could be worse!Chanting resumes but this time it is |
| 7.30am and I am waiting outside my building with my | | | | very brief, no more than five minutes. The monks |
| car and driver. No Neung and no Khun Ying, her sister. | | | | collect their goodies, climb into the pickup truck and |
| Oh well, it's Thailand so I guess I just have to wait. I | | | | off they go. Formalities are over with. Neung's |
| get an sms and it seems the taxi they called could | | | | mother is now at peace.Lunch begins for all the |
| not find their place so they are going to be very late. | | | | guests. We split into two groups. I sit with Neung, |
| Mai pen rai.8.15am Neung and Ying arrive carrying 6 | | | | Khun Ying and seven other ladies. Most are in their |
| large bags of cat food. Hmmm, this is looking | | | | 50s and 60s and I am an object of fascination. They |
| interesting. Not quite sure how this one gets | | | | see me struggling with the sitting postures and so, to |
| explained. We set out for Rangsit. Neung explains | | | | a lot of laughing, a stool appears and I am told to sit. |
| about the cat food. Her mother had four cats. The | | | | My cheeks are red but the pain is gone so it's a good |
| neighbor has been feeding them but ran out of food | | | | tradeoff. Then the real challenge begins. Am I going |
| 4 days ago, so the cats have not eaten. Ok, that | | | | to eat the food? Luckily I like Thai food at least as |
| explains the cat food well enough!9.15am we arrive at | | | | much as kon Thai so the food is no problem for me. |
| the house in Rangsit and go see the neighbors. Cats | | | | They even begin to realise that I speak quite decent |
| arrive, fast! We give them some food and then they | | | | Thai.Everything is going well until we come to the |
| are joined by the neighbor's dog, who seems to eat | | | | durian mixed with sticky rice and coconut milk. Durian |
| cat food as willingly as she eats dog food. Well, it's | | | | is actually ok to eat but this one is not ripe enough. |
| Thailand!We are going to do tambuun at the house. | | | | Sticky rice is not something I enjoy. The mixture all |
| Neung explains that sometimes people do it at the | | | | together? Well I manage not to throw up but only |
| temple but it is considered "luckier" to do it at the | | | | just and, of course, the whole group finds this very |
| person's house. Something to do with releasing the | | | | entertaining, myself just about included. These are all |
| spirit. I don't pretend to understand but no problem. I | | | | good people. They are having fun. They are being |
| ask when the monks will arrive. Around 11am I am | | | | very welcoming to me. It has been a good day so |
| told which, obviously, means 11.30am. everyone is | | | | far.The food is cleared away and we all start to clear |
| always late here. All the monk's gifts have been | | | | up. Neung pays for the food which means, |
| prepared. Money in envelopes, flowers and the usual | | | | necessarily that I pay for the food. There's a lot of |
| bucket of goodies - washing powder, toothpaste and | | | | celebrating and five minutes later what seems like a |
| so on.10.30am and the monks arrive. What's going on | | | | million bottles of beer arrive. Seems I gave a good tip |
| here? No one in Thailand is ever early. We'll get back | | | | too! So now everyone really loves us.It's time to go, |
| to this shortly, but it turns out to be about food. The | | | | time to perform many wais, to say goodbye and to |
| monks arrived, all nine of them, in the back of a | | | | drive home. Neung is leaving for Amsterdam tonight |
| pickup truck. Dressed in their orange robes it is a | | | | to spend 10 days with her gay Thai friend and his |
| somewhat surreal scene. The strangest pickup | | | | Dutch boyfriend. She tries to insist that she won't be |
| delivery I have ever seen! We now have nine monks | | | | spending the entire 10 days finding a new boyfriend |
| seated on the floor of the house, with about 25 | | | | but doesn't sound too credible. Mai pen rai, this is not |
| guests seated all over the place. The rituals begin | | | | my problem anymore. If she is happy then I am |
| with an offering of water to the monks. The candles | | | | happy too. She may be my ex but she is still my |
| are lit, the string is unwound, we all settle down and | | | | friend and she has had a tough few months.The first |
| the chanting begins.I can't be sure but it seemed to | | | | Thai funeral I attended was for Neung's mother and |
| me that the chanting was much the same as at the | | | | it is for her also that I have made my first tambuun. |
| funeral ceremonies. It's quite interesting to watch and | | | | It has been another fascinating experience. The Thai |
| listen. It is melodic without being musical and mildly | | | | people manage death with a lot of grace, humor, |
| hypnotic. Hypnosis would have been useful because I | | | | tact and respect. That's an odd mix of words |
| was in agony from sitting with crossed legs. My | | | | perhaps but it's an appropriate mix. I like the way |
| knees are shot from too much running at the gym | | | | they do this and I like to think that Neung's mother |
| and I find these very basic sitting postures almost | | | | would have been pleased with what she saw today. I |
| impossible to manage. So, for me, the chanting is an | | | | don't pretend to understand Buddhism or Thai culture, |
| exercise in pain and the constant thought running | | | | but what I do see I like very much.As for Neung it |
| through my mind of "how much longer"?A couple of | | | | has been a difficult time. Her mother was her only |
| dogs wander in and out as we sit and a little 2 year | | | | family. Her father did not turn up today and has |
| old girls comes to join us, holding her hands up in the | | | | apparently been asking her for money. Her |
| praying position. It's a very cute scene. She gets | | | | stepfather, aged 75, has been trying to transfer his |
| bored quickly, as 2 year olds do, and decides to | | | | affections for her mother to Neung herself.She has |
| examine and take apart the padlock to the garden | | | | been unhappy and she has cried alone a lot. I have |
| gate. Then she decides to try everyone else's shoes, | | | | not been able to spend much time with her. Today |
| flip flops, high heels, they are all of equal interest. I | | | | she seems happier than I have seen her in a long |
| find my eyes wandering much more to her than the | | | | time. In part it's because she is going to Amsterdam |
| business at hand.The chanting ceases and now I learn | | | | but I think it is more than that. She has finally learned |
| why the monks arrived early. We are their lunch. I | | | | to say goodbye to her mother.Thailand is sometimes |
| am told that the monks eat twice a day, breakfast | | | | truly a crazy place. Crazy but wonderful and so very |
| and lunch and that they may not eat after midday. | | | | much alive, even in death. I am privileged to be |
| They turned up early to be sure that they could get | | | | here.The end. Original article available at from England, |
| lunch. Well that makes perfect sense to me. After all, | | | | Adam Bryan-Brown has lived in Bangkok for one year |
| this country more than most, marches on its | | | | having spent many years working in businesses in the |
| stomach. Lunch is a feast. A mass of different foods. | | | | United Sates and Switzerland. After graduating from |
| They eat, we wait. Everyone seems happy and | | | | Oxford University, Adam spent 20 years working in |
| there is a lot of laughing from everyone.I am, of | | | | public relations.At the beginning of 2005 Adam set up |
| course, the only farang and the object of some | | | | his first independent company, 2nd AB Associates, a |
| attention. Many are asking Neung if I am her | | | | virtual public relations agency. artThailand was created |
| boyfriend. She says no, just a friend and that I am | | | | in January 2006 and is his second independent |
| gay. Hmmm, ok. Now where did that come from? | | | | venture. The company is committed to promoting |
| Neung explains. If I say u are my friend (puan) they | | | | Thai contemporary art across the world.He is also a |
| will wonder why u are here so I called u my gay | | | | published writer and is currently working on a book |
| friend. Hmm, ok. Why not say I am ur ex boyfriend. | | | | about his life in Thailand. His main interests are |
| No way she says. If I say that I lose face. So the | | | | contemporary art and writing. |
| price of not losing face is that I am now gay. Life | | | | |