| Office gift exchanges can sometimes be a
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| | and picked up the next one. The slim,
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| painful experience.
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| | flat object turned out to be a package of
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|
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| | bicycle reflectors.
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| What happens if you draw the name of
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| |
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| that one person in your office that makes
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| | Not owning a bike, and following the
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| your skin crawl? Or worse, what if you
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| | natural line of progression, I
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| make the skin crawl of the person who
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| | proclaimed, "Wow! You got me a bike??"
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| drew your name?
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|
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| | "Huh? No."
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| Gifts are suppose to be from the heart.
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| How can it come from the heart if that
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| | Okaaaaaay.
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| person makes your heart shrivel up faster
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| than a vienna sausage that's been left in
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| | This had to be going somewhere. Didn't
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| the sun?
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| | it?
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|
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| I enjoy the art of gift giving - and it
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| | I continued opening.
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| is an art.
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|
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| | An air freshener in the shape of a
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| Giving the perfect gift requires
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| | yellow foot. The kind you hang from your
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| thought, time and effort. The perfect
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| | rear view mirror and can buy at any AM PM
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| gift says, 'I know who you are and I
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| | Mini Mart for a buck fifty.
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| celebrate you.'
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| |
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|
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| | "That's so you won't get sick when you
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| What then happens to the
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| | ride in my car." (My husband being a
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| gift-giving-challenged? Better yet, what
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| | smoker who has been regulated to only
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| happens to the receiver of those gifts?
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| | smoking outside on the deck or in his
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|
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| | truck.)
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| My husband is the worst gift giver...
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| |
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| ever.
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| | A palm sized book of kitten photos.
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|
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| It never fails to amaze me how someone
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| | "You like kittens, right?"
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| who has lived with you for years on end,
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| |
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| can just not get it. (We just began our
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| | A box of ant stakes.
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| 10th year of marital bliss.)
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| |
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|
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| | "You know, cuz of the ants." (Very
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| I have come to dread special occasions.
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| | thoughtful, being that it was summer and
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| My last birthday was the worst.
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| | I had been battling to keep the ants out
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|
| |
| | of the kitchen.)
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| On the morning of my birthday, my
| |
| |
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| husband sat me down on the couch and
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| | To his credit, the last gift I opened
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| proudly approached with an arm full of
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| | was The Best of Chris Farley from
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| gifts. The previous year's birthday gift
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| | Saturday Night Live. Ok, I could live
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| had been a big fat nothing. (Husbands
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| | with that one.
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| take note: never give your wife nothing
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| |
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| on her birthday - unless you hate her and
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| | As I sat there with my assortment of
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| intentionally want her to feel totally
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| | gifts and my state of shock, I couldn't
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| worthless.) Seeing him approach with the
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| | help but wonder just how much this man
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| gifts, I felt a tinge of hope.
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| | despised me or if a request for cash
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|
| |
| | would be rude.
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| With the expectant look of a puppy
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| |
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| searching for a new home, my husband sat
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| | When Christmas came, I attempted to
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| in front of me and beckoned that I begin
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| | install a "no gifts" policy. Emphasizing
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| opening my gifts.
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| | that it just wasn't in the budget - and
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|
| |
| | truthfully, I couldn't survive ant stakes
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| I picked up the first small package and
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| | under the Christmas tree.
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| lightly shook it back and forth. My
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| |
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| husband prodded, "Just open it."
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| | But my husband insisted, "It's
|
|
| |
| | Christmas. I have to get you something."
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| Removing the wrapping revealed a box of
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| |
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| staples - the kind for a staple gun that
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| | Christmas day arrived and my husband
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| you would use around the house.
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| | handed me an envelope containing a gift
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|
| |
| | certificate to Borders Books.
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| "So is this my new staple gun?" I asked,
| |
| |
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| patting a square package sitting on the
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| | I hugged him.
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| table. I was excited. I had been wanting
| |
| |
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| one.
| |
| | "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank
|
|
| |
| | you!"
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| My husband got a puzzled look on his
| |
| |
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| face, "Huh? No."
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| | Copyright (c) 2005 Maureen Valdes Marsh
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|
| |
| | all rights reservedMaureen Valdes Marsh
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| The opening of the square box produced a
| |
| | is a former newspaper reporter. She
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| small puzzle of white kittens, sitting in
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| | currently writes a semi-punctual weekly
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| a row, on a pink background. It was the
| |
| | column on her website called, "Musings of
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| perfect gift for a puzzle enthusiast or a
| |
| | Vintage Grace." She is the author of the
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| 10-year-old girl. Last time I checked, I
| |
| | upcoming book for Collectors Press, "Be
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| was neither.
| |
| | There or Be Square: Fashion's Flare in
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|
| |
| | the 1970s", set for release Fall '06.
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| My hopes were fading but I forged ahead
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| |
|
