| What do you say to a tween when her favorite TV | | | | the actual consequences of being a parent at a |
| star gets pregnant? That's the situation facing | | | | young age. If you're brave enough, do what the |
| parents with the news that Brittney Spears' sister, | | | | mother of a 12-year-old did. She wanted her |
| 16-year-old Jamie Lynn, is pregnant. Jamie Lynn, the | | | | daughter to experience the responsibilities of having a |
| star of Nickelodeon's Zoey 101, is highly popular with | | | | baby. Mom got a 10 pound bag of flour and taped a |
| the tween crowd. It's impossible to shield girls from | | | | raw egg to the top. Her daughter had to carry the |
| everyday life with it's sexy commercials and peer | | | | bag of flour with her all weekend, making sure not to |
| pressure to dance like celebrities on MTV. It is | | | | break the egg. Her daughter soon got the message |
| possible to provide opportunities for girls to engage in | | | | that babies are fragile, heavy and cramp your social |
| educational, fun and wholesome activities that give | | | | life! As a former camp counselor, I have memories of |
| them a positive self-image. Mothers feel their | | | | many 12 and 13-year-old girls arriving at camp with |
| daughter's are growing up too fast. Girls hear | | | | their pseudo-sophisticated attitude. Many had French |
| provocative lyrics in songs without fully understanding | | | | manicures to accent their perfectly highlighted hair. |
| what the words mean. Fashion magazines encourage | | | | Craft classes? How childish! Carry a backpack on an |
| outfits many mothers put in the category of | | | | overnight hike? No Way! Where would they plug in |
| "pre-prostitute". Schools offer sex-education classes | | | | their hair dryer? Fast forward two days and suddenly |
| beyond the developmental ability of many | | | | those tweens, away from cell phones and computers |
| nine-year-olds. This is where creative parenting takes | | | | are planning how to win the fort building competition |
| effect. After compiling hundreds of surveys from | | | | using tree limbs. They're proudly displaying the basket |
| mothers and tweens, for my book, 12 Going on 29: | | | | they wove in craft class. In fact, those tweens find |
| Surviving Your Daughter's Tween Years, two facts | | | | themselves excited about "shaving" a shaving |
| stand out. Mothers overwhelmingly wrote they | | | | cream-covered-balloon. They giggle hysterically while |
| wished they had taken a more conservative | | | | making up a song about dirty socks. Their |
| approach when dealing with their tween daughters. "I | | | | pseudo-sophistication disappears as they engage in |
| let her watch videos I didn't think were appropriate, | | | | age appropriate activities. Being the mother of a |
| but all her friends were watching them", said one | | | | tween is like a root beer float. First of all, root beer |
| mom. "Now I wish I had simply told her that my | | | | floats evoke the image of fun, of being together |
| standards said she didn't need to watch those | | | | with friends or celebrating a happy occasion. Let's |
| topics". Daughters, on the other hand, wrote that the | | | | never forget that tweens are fun! You represent the |
| main person they want to go to with a problem | | | | ice cream, the substance of the drink. Then along |
| is...their mom. The 9-13-year old tween age group | | | | comes your tween daughter in the form of root |
| wants a close mother-daughter relationship. Girls still | | | | beer. It's a balancing act as you pour just enough |
| look to their mothers for guidance and comfort. This | | | | root beer in the glass before it hits the ice cream and |
| provides a perfect opportunity to talk with your | | | | fizzes over. You and your daughter have a balancing |
| tween about Jamie Lynn's pregnancy. It may even | | | | act also. She wants independence, you want to |
| be the time to have that dreaded "Bird's and Bee's" | | | | protect her. She wants to post on My Space, you |
| talk. One mother, discussing teenage pregnancy with | | | | want her to keep reading Little House on the Prairie |
| her tween daughter was startled when her ten-year | | | | books. Sometimes a balance works out between you |
| old asked, "But mom, how do girls get pregnant in | | | | and your daughter in the same way the root beer |
| the first place?" The shocked mom assumed her | | | | and ice cream balance out to make a great drink. |
| previous sex-talk had registered with her daughter. | | | | And that foam that rises on top of the glass? That's |
| Take time and watch an episode of Zoey 101 | | | | the extra fun you get from being around a girl who is |
| together. Casually talk about the situations. Are they | | | | developing into a young woman! |
| realistic? Do people really talk to teachers that way? | | | | Silvana Clark's book,"12 Going on 29: Surviving Your |
| Help your daughter discuss what it's like to be Jamie | | | | Daughter's Tween Years" gives practical advice on |
| Lynn, both on TV as well as in real life. Steer the | | | | raising a tween daughter. Silvana is a professional |
| conversation towards teen pregnancy, letting your | | | | speaker, giving keynotes and workshops on creative |
| daughter know how you feel personally, as well as | | | | parenting. |